21 Things I Learned the Hard Way....(church planter-home missions)

I wish so much someone would have handed a list like this to me before we ventured into the "Home Missions" church planting period of our lives. But now that I lived through it, I feel it is important for me to provide a list for others who may want to learn from my mistakes. Note: My husband and I entered this venture as a team, we both were divinely called of God at a conference in 1992 at Because of the Times, but it was not until 1996 that we were given permission to begin on our own. We both worked (or were in FT college) during these years, we started with no one but our two children aged 12 and 5 (our youngest was born three years after we began) We were thankfully granted $100 a month from our home district. We were not under the sponsorship of the full CFC program. My writing may seem a bit negative, but as many rough memories as I have, I have WONDERFUL memories and our children have been called by God into the ministry and have accepted the call. Here's the list: 1. If people reject your attempts to reach them for Jesus, don't cry your eyes out; it is not YOU they are rejecting. This is not about you, some people even rejected Jesus...keep your head up and keep on reaching out with the Word. Know who called you to do this work, HE will sustain you. 2. People are not looking for talent, they are looking for salt, be as salty* as you can be...pray and get your confidence from God. Don't use maniputaion, guilt or coersion of any kind to get people to come to Bible Studies or service. God will speak to their hearts. 3. When someone is going to be baptized, don't encourage them to have ALL their relatives there. Being buried with Christ is a very personal and spiritial experience and it is not meant to be a social event. If they do want to come, that's great, but often the focus may shift to them instead of the baptism. 4. Don't bribe people to come to church; whatever you use to get people to church will have to be continued and that is unreasonable. Be salty*, be on fire; that will draw them for the right reasons. "Ye are the salt of the earth". 5. Don't sacrifice all your family and relaxation time for the church. Your family will get bitter and in the end it won't make the church stronger. You can get burnt out. I remember vividly rushing home from a much needed break only to find that only ONE lady showed up for our ladies meeting. I was so needing that time away. 6. Don't try and become the "all and in all" to the new converts; they will become dependant on you instead of Jesus and His Word. You may feel obligated to have extra serivces in order to keep them out of trouble. DON"T! 7. Never use your home for a homeless shelter. Keep your home as an oasis from the outside world. Believe me, I KNOW what I am talking about in this regard. We did open the church for people to stay in at times. 8. There is nothing as powerful as anointed teaching and preaching. Make the focus of your church the WORD and it will draw people to God. 9. The people that take the most energy and time will hurt you the most and slap you in the back. If you bail someone out of jail, you most likely will not see that person again in a short time. Don't hand out cash unless it is absolutely necessary. Give groceries cards or hotel nights if necessary, not cash! 10. Children are precious and your sincere love and care for them will NEVER be fruitless. Try not to overstimulate them or give them too many prizes or treats. Small prizes are great, and the best prizes are when you give them your attention and appropriate affection. The wildest children are often the ones who listen closest to your words...you would just never know it. Many kids come to Sunday School truly hungry, so provide a healthy snack for them. 11. Call people before you pick them up, you will save yourself a lot of frustration and dissappointment if you make sure they ARE ready before driving far to get them for service. 12. Focus on getting new people to ONE service a week to begin with. The same service. They will develop a habit, then add other meetings. 13. When you do finally get a vacation, don't call home for your messages. I totally ruined a vacation once when I called home and listened to my messages. A certain lady who always had so much drama in her family "dumped" on me all her cares and I worried about all that for days instead of relaxing. 14. God will provide for your finances. In all the years of home missions only one month did we have to pay the rent for our church building ourselves. It may have been at the last minute, but the money came in. 15. Don't borrow money for the church. Just ask for the Lord to provide and He will, and if he doesn't, be patient. This is not about our pride, ASUZA street was in an old warehouse/barn type building. It's the power and presence of God that people need.... "silver and gold have I none, but such as I have", remember those words? 16. Never ask someone to teach Sunday school or do children's work unless you are absolutley sure they are qualified. I had a lady teach once that I thought I could trust and she put her hands around the throat of one of our active kids. I came back in just in time to avert a huge problem. 17. Be supportive at all times to each other (if you are a married couple). It is easy to take our frustrations out on each other. Take your heartaches to the Lord...he will calm you and renew your strength. Show extra love to your spouse and children. And always make sure you get your children to district events for them with other kids...it will be a sacrifice, but your kids need fellowship where they can just relax and have fun. (Our daughter began teaching SS at age 12-we had no other teachers). And make sure you make it to district or national conferences...you will really need it. 18. Delegate as many jobs as possible to others. People like to help the church grow, it's healthy and it's the right thing to do. Never put someone in charge of leadership that has not been tested though. And when you ask someone to shovel the snow and turn on the heat but they show up late or not at all, just be patient, don't get bitter. Training takes time. 19. Give a call to your (Pastor-mentor) now and then, even if they don't call you, call them or email them. We need each other. Take direction and advice. Don't get hurt by harsh comments that are made by others. The enemy wants us to feel alientated and alone. Be strong; keep communication open with others. 20. Always make sure children and youth have proper supervision. Years of hard work can be lost by a few moments of carelessness. 21. When you have a victorious service, brace yourself for a spiritual attack...just expect it and stay prayed up...don't get haughty...stay calm in Jesus' peace. And when you have an attack, don't assume that you are washed up and worthless...just hang in there. Victory is on the way. We give our joys and sorrows to the Lord. We just never put down our sword, never! And rememeber that it is such an honor to be called by God to do a work for Him. Whether you have great success or small success, you are working for the best BOSS ever, and nothing goes unnoticed by our Saviour. He sees it all. *to be salty (to me) means to be full of the the Holy Ghost and power-to be on fire for God.

Your Resume' - to get hired- working for God

So many of us have had to develop a resume' or a portfolio for various job-related or educational-related reasons. We compile a list of our trainings and our skills; our employment history etc. I wonder, if God was "hiring" to work for HIM, if I would be qualified? Here are a few things on an average resume': name,address,phone,objective,certifications,experience,relevant interests,education. Jesus told the men on the seashore simply, "Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." Matthew 4:19. FOLLOW him....that's all he requires...I'm pretty sure He provides on-the-job training. It doesn't matter your name, where you live, your objective, certifications, experience, relevant interests nor education; He will take you on and train you, IF you "follow after HIM".

Who do we think we are, anyway?

We get such big heads; we really think we are something to contend with. We are so wrong, we are so diluted. This is tough love language, but it is so needed.

If God asked Abraham to give him his all, and just about everyone in the Bible I can think of (including beautiful queen Esther) to give their all, who are we to think we can stand on our "rights" and our "preferences" when it comes to being a follower of Jesus.


If this Jesus thing is true, then why don't you want to jump all the way in? Why dance around the edge? Why not get so immersed that we actually see the "big picture" for once? Why don't we drop all of our fear and get joyful about this journey God has invited us on?

And if the Lord plops you in some remote place, are you going to get angry with him and fault him for his poor judgment or for his inequity? God chooses; he has the right to; he can do with his creation what he chooses to do with them. He is God and we are not!

We can get so bent out of shape because some have loftier positions than others. We think God is unfair. Some even think that God does not notice a "nobody" and overlooks them for promotions. That is unscriptural.
God is... "NOT A RESPECTOR OF PERSONS"! Acts 10:34

The sooner we lay our lives down fully and completely to the Lord,
we will:
*not struggle with being easily offended
*not suffer with jealousy
*feel immense joy knowing that we are in the will of God
*have protection from the attacks of the enemy
*begin to have the mind of Christ and see things through God's eyes.


Jesus laid it all down for us, why do we think we can withhold any part of ourselves to this Saviour? He showed us the way...
Humble yourself in the sight of God and he will lift you up.

No fear this year!

Sometimes we "normal" people encounter irrational fears. These fears can cause us to make decisions in order to avoid these feelings next time. We go to great lengths to insulate ourselves from further pains.

The trouble is,there is no true injury, it is mostly imaginary.

Sometimes the decisions we make causes us to hurt ourselves and those around us. Sometimes very sane people can experience a "flight" response to the fears that are felt. Fleeing may the very worst thing that a person could do.


I am not writing about diagnosable mental illness; those that suffer with forms of paranoia are inundated with debilitating fears. I hurt for them.

I am referring to those of us that fear things that are not really there.

Fear of being alone, isolation, unemployment, rejection, infertility, public ridicule, poverty, failure, illness/death, condemnation... and subsequent damnation.

There are so many fears people can experience.

Let's resolve to not fear the year....when fears come knocking on our heart's door...let's raise up and yell at the fear, claiming our power over it.

Fear...be gone! Joy move back in...take over my heart and reign in my heart.

Quit worrying about how you are perceived. Just do the right thing.

Do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. That is the definition of righteousness. Do the right thing; even when it hurts, even when someone might judge you. Just do the right thing.

If you don't have the extra money for a lavish gift for someone, then just give them a modest thoughtful gift.

Sometimes being lavish IS the right thing to do. Mary never regretted pouring the oil on Jesus...she didn't know it for his burial, but it was. That lavish gift which made Judas very angry, is still spoken of to this day.

There are some that watch their pennies so closely and their dollars are falling out of their pockets. You've heard, "Penny wise, dollar foolish", it is a true adage.

It may make no sense to give an offering sometimes, but when you feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit, it is the right thing to do. If you are risking your housing or neglecting your obligations or children, of course, the prompting you felt may have been just your emotions.

The widow woman gave her last two mites. Those mites were all she had, but she was not neglecting her children. She gave and enjoyed doing it and again, we STILL talk about that precious old lady who gave her all.

Let your family see you being generous...and having joy in doing it... it's catchy and it's a generational blessing to pass down.

Be righteous, do the right thing.

Your heart's desires.

What does it mean to delight yourself in the Lord?
I love the end of this verse but to comprehend its meaning is a bit of a challenge.

Here's the challenge: Ps. 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

So many people never seem to attain the desires of their heart. They pine, long, yearn, suffer, dream and seemingly never feel fulfilled or satisfied. Even many Christians!

While in college years ago, I studied Chinese culture and its major religions. I read about Buddhism, and about Buddha, himself. Basically, he modelled a life of self-denial and taught "meditation". Meditation is the process of making a mental assent into another "consciousness"; thus losing the desires of this life. I began to understand the reasons for all of the self-abasement and "monk" lifestyle.

They are trying to satisfy the longings of their souls. They try and THINK themselves out of this world filled with frustrations and passions and into peace which some of them call "nirvana".

May I be blunt? This teaching is demonically inspired and is damnable!

We were made in the image of God and we are made with a longing for GOD. When we are filled with God's presence, we are infused with THE ANSWER we long for. God wants us to chose HIM. We must humbly invite him into our lives. He that hungers and thirsts after righteousness shall be filled!

People filled with the spirit of God have found the ANSWER. When in his presence, we are free! We can fly like a bird!

We begin to love what God loves; thus our desires change and we begin to see that what we used to long for has lost its attraction. We begin to be attracted to the things of God. When we delight or get "happy" about the things God is thrilled about, the former desires fade and we begin to desire new things. And these new and different things are very fulfilling.

God does give us the desires of our hearts.
Yes, he has peace and joy for us, families,love,promotions, education, freedom, travel, material possessions, healing
whatever YOU desire, he wants to give us.

BUT, we must seek the things of God first. All these things will be added unto us.

Does this mean that you become a little peculiar? To the world's perspective, yes. Be willing to swim upstream, get a backbone!

If that doesn't interest you, go ahead try and fill your soul with "things", or love affairs or false religions....it won't last and it won't work. IT IS A TRAP for your soul.

God himself fills our hearts and as we grow in the Lord and in the knowlegde of his Word, we get more and more joyful and happy. We have so much to look forward to. The sun shines brighter and brighter even on a cloudy day.

Delight thyself also...in the Lord....and HE shall give thee the desires of thine heart.....it's true, it's true, it's true.

ONE would've been enough....but he bought more....

The Hebrew brought their sacrifices to the priest. The animals were killed carefully with as little trauma to them as possible. The priest then offered them on the altar of sacrifice to atone for the sins of man who brought them.

BUT WHEN JESUS, the supreme and perfect lamb of God, OUR sacrificial lamb, gave himself to purchase our salvation, he not only willingly laid himself down, but he allowed his tormentors to abuse, torture, defame and humiliate him.

Why?
He wanted to buy some things for his BRIDE. Gifts of great value.
He bought our HEALING and PEACE.
Isa. 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
It cost him dearly. His face was so disfigured, he was unrecognizable.
His back was ripped apart by a whipped laced with instruments designed to lash and cut.

Why would he do this? He had fallen in love with his bride and he knew that she needed redemption but also that she would suffer mental anquish and physical pain at times.
We are his bride; the bride of Christ.
What a God we serve, how I worship him today!
Why should we be filled with doubt and fear when we know of his ultimate love for us?
Be healed in Jesus' name. Be at peace in Jesus' name.